Couples Counseling
Looking for couples therapy in Austin, Texas? Schedule a free 30-minute consultation with Ray →
On the initial telephone call the client said, “My husband won’t listen and tells me I am too emotional. He says I am the problem, and I need to see a counselor. I told him that I wouldn’t get so upset if he would just show that he cares.”
Does this sound familiar? Both of you see the other person as the problem? It can be easy to think that if a counselor could just “fix” the other person, everything would be great!
It’s not about him; it’s not about her. It’s about the relationship.
The struggle with couple counseling is that there are three entities involved: the husband, the wife, and the relationship. Both of you bring your own experiences, thoughts, emotions and backgrounds into the relationship. In couple counseling, the relationship is the client!
In talking about counseling with couples and families, a professional counselor once told me, “It is no different than working doing group counseling.” What this counselor failed to understand is that in couple counseling you are working with the relationship, not just individual people. You are helping the couple to gain new understandings of the other person, identifying communication and behavioral response patterns that are triggered within the conversation, and developing skills for how to express what they think and feel in a more effecting and helpful way; all within the session.
Relationship counseling is understanding “the dance” of how couples interact, then helping the couple to have a new experience relating to one another in the moment—creating a “new dance.” This is valuable for relationships at all stages: pre-marital and newly married couples, those married for several years, and couples together for decades.
Couples counseling is for every couple, regardless of what you’re going through as individuals or as a couple
Common struggles can include managing finances, the stress of balancing career and family, parenting and discipline styles, communication, social and recreational needs, in-law and extended family relationships, affection and intimacy needs, stepfamily dynamics, affairs/betrayal, and even going through divorce.
Personal struggles with anxiety, depression, grief, PTSD, chronic illness or pain can compound relationship concerns. A good couple’s counselor is skilled at balancing personal concerns with relationship concerns. And it is often preferable to have just one counselor so they understand, balance and take everything impacting the relationship into consideration. THIS is the art of couple counseling!
If you would like to know more about how couple counseling can help, submit the form on the New Clients page to request a free consultation or to get started as a new client.